I once saw a face in a piece of old gum stuck to the inside wall of a number 19 bus. I could say it looked like Osama Bin Laden as there was a definite turban and a beard – but equally it could have looked like a squillion other beardy-blokes in turbans.

It puzzles me that people are always sending photos of vaguely face-like patterns to newspapers, claiming that they look like Jesus. And it puzzles me even more that the papers actually print these pictures without pointing out that they look nothing whatsoever like what’s come to be the standard Jesus image.

The Sun – Monday 5th July 2010

Take this article in The Sun – it has five pictures of dirt splodges and natural patterns slightly resembling faces, yet all have been claimed to be images of Jesus (and just so you can compare, they’ve put a picture of Jesus on the right – although he looks a bit like Russell Brand after a hair wash to me).

Saruman from Lord of the RingsTo my eyes, the image at the top looks like a silent movie actress holding a bouquet. Then bottom left to right: The Mona Lisa; a dead rodent holding the face of another silent movie actress; a baby in front of a dark curtain on the iron; and a woody Saruman from Lord of the Rings. 

So that’s three women, a dead vole, a baby and a wizard.

Like in a Rorschach test, these images probably look different to everyone, but please let’s stop with the Jesus-hunting and accept that there are random face-like images all over the place. And let’s just enjoy these faces for whoever they look like – be it Dale Winton in a chicken vindaloo-stained napkin or Vanessa Feltz in a cupcake wrapper.


2 responses to “Jesus!

  1. I can definitely see the Saruman one when I look at it, so I’ve got to agree with you there. Seeing faces in these things is like cloud staring, which reminds me that I’m pretty sure I saw Jesus in the clouds today, I was thinking about taking a picture…. Now I’m really stuck though, because you have clearly come to the astounding conclusion that Russell Brand is possibly Jesus…… I’ll have to take my thoughts of seeing Jesus in the cloud back into consideration.

  2. If you’re of the mindset that Jesus will return in some form (and I’m not), then suspecting Russell Brand is Jesus would be a pretty good guess I reckon. I mean, who’s ‘spread the love’ more than Russell?

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