I’m yet to see any of the Twilight movies. When I saw the trailer for the first one I put it on my ‘to do’ list (or maybe I just meant Robert Pattinson) but when I saw all the screaming teenage girls at the film’s premier, changed my mind rather rapidly.
Although inside I quite often revert to being a teenage girl, I’m obviously far too cool (and old) to join in with their squeals (unless Chuck Bass’s nostril arch and eyebrow combination are involved – but that’s an entirely different matter).
Volvos, on the other hand, I still feel far too young for. They’re for old people with spare money and either too many kids or too many dogs. Old people with too many kids, too many dogs and a horse – for which there is always an old hair-covered blanket and tack box in the back of the car.
These people nearly always buy their Volvo new and keep it until death – usually the owner’s, not the car’s. Ancient Volvos who find themselves orphaned often seem to find new homes amongst the Hasidic Jewish community in North London. People who obviously appreciate that a Volvo is for life, not just for Christmas. Or Hanukkah.
So now pause for a minute and ask yourself what these two things have in common: teenage vampires and new cars for old, wealthy people.
Are you stumped? Me too! But for a few weeks now, the two have been sharing a very strange ad campaign indeed. And try as hard as I can, I really can’t find any kind of logical connection at all – unless it’s simply that the film was desperate for sponsorship and Volvo desperate to change their image.
I fully appreciate that times are tricky for car manufacturers trying to flog their wares but I find this particular partnership rather creepy. And that’s because it seems to imply that either teenage girls have a strong influence on the cars their dads buy (unlikely) or that maybe Volvo have noticed a paedophile-shaped gap in the car market.