NICE do it again!

Not even a week has passed since the idiots at NICE (the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence) told us that pregnancy clinics should be set up in schools and now they’re saying that fat people should be paid to lose weight and that smokers should be paid to quit.

Who the hell are these people who work at NICE? Do they actually inhabit the same world as the rest of us? They’re obviously not smoking porkers or they’d know that such schemes would only have a very short-lived success rate and would be wide open to abuse.

If smokers quit buying fags then they’re already financially better off and if looking good and being able to wear whatever you like isn’t enough of an incentive to lose the lard then a few quid certainly won’t be a greater one.

So as you really seem to need them NICE, here’s a few tips for you:

1) Use your powers to persuade the government to raise taxes on junk food.

2) Use those junk taxes plus all the money you want to spend on absurd projects such as this on subsidising healthy food and good quality free school dinners.

3) Work harder towards providing a better education for all children and then hopefully they’ll work out for themselves that getting knocked-up, lardy, or addicted to fags is a really dumb thing to do.

And if all that fails – stop worrying that we’re all so fat and unhealthy. With all the pension cutbacks doing the rounds these days hardly any of us can afford to live to be old anyway!

2 responses to “NICE do it again!

  1. I agree with 2) and 3) but not 1) – it will cause complication and injustice – many foods presumed to be ‘junk’ aren’t actually bad for you and are staples for the poor.

    Think about it: Jamie Oliver’s lecturing on the evils of Turkey Twizzlers because they are largely made of chicken-skin and fat, but it is not difficult to think of times when similarly composed ‘gourmet’ foods, have been championed by the very same man. No chef in his right mind would recommend routinely removing the skin from chicken: it’s delicious; it’s half the flavour, like the fat in beef. Pate is fatty liver. It’s delicious and good for you. The French eat more saturated fat than almost anyone and it does them no harm. There is a lot of research countering the standard advice to minimize saturated fat, but it is crowded out by ‘conventional wisdom’ – fact is, it’s still an open question in science.

    This strapping, active guy made it all the way through a developmentally normal childhood and up to the age of 29 before he ate anything other than mild cheddar cheese:

    The poor are fatter than the rich because they have fewer sources of consolation and more need for it – it’s comfort-eating. Might also be something to do with excessive omega-6 oil consumption (relative to omega-3 intake), which causes an increase in inflammatory response and fat-storage. There’s some evidence it makes people switch to a sedentary phenotype (gene-expression). They will naturally lose muscle and become less physically energetic.

    I agree that financial incentives are only adding a little bit extra incentive to an already large incentive: our society hates fat people and snagging a mate is a lot easier when one is reasonably trim. Fat people already desperately want to lose weight, and try and fail repeatedly (99% of all diets fail).

    I was borderline obese for several years; was not happy about it; couldn’t seem to do anything about it; one day something clicked and I tackled the problem with great discipline. The psychology of the problem is not understood.

  2. I class junk food as anything that’s bad for you that you can just eat ‘as is’ – eg crisps, chocolate etc. Twizzlers you do at least have to heat the oven up and cook for 2o mins or so.

    I’m a lardass – i’m always struggling against the bulge but money (unless it was really big bucks) wouldn’t help incentivise me.

    This is a problem that can only really be tackled at the root and as kids are brought up by parents who often go for the cheapest, least-hassle foods – which are often the unhealthiest – something has to change and raising the cost would force change in many cases.

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